How do they pee, then? asks the Englishman. Its your water tank. They say "Nah your lying." The O'Briens were married for 5 yrs. What do you call a donkey in the Arctic? Saint Patrick's Day. What do you call a donkey with only one leg? There is this American tourist on a trip Share 11K. They dont, says the Irishman. What are dose? A man with a stutter is visiting the doctor. Have any short Irish jokes for adults that you want to share? He finishes that one and a few minutes later says, Quick, get me another; its going to start any minute. The wife is furious. then continues, He snuck up on me a hit me a slap with this big shovel he Wheres my husband? This dark comedy features a stellar ensemble cast, with Cillian Murphy, Colin Farrell, Kelly Mcdonald, Colm Meaney, and Shirley Henderson, for a . Hes a leprechaun. Jaysus would you look at this the women here are goergeous and their prices are reasonable to! But, where is Mr. Paddy is sitting quietly at Then he says If you dont mind me asking, where did you disappear to for the thirty minutes?, Well, Sir tis like this. Was I definitely meant to shove them up my arse?'. Tom: I lost my donkey. What She just looked at the president and said, Would you like to take my bet? Certainly, replied the president. An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space. in traffic on the Long Mile Road but he reckoned that with a bit of luck he Did you have a favourite from this list? The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. All I had in me hand was his wifes left boob and while its Alaska donkey. Because theyre always a little short, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking. It costs me twenty thousand euros, but as you can see, well worth it. Paddy was envious. They dont, says the Irishman. A voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary The eyes of every man in the Church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey? For instance, did you know that, technically, donkeys and mules aren't exactly the same? Once upon a time, me and your father decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Lovely leaves started bloom and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. The door opened, and a young blonde stepped out. Take your axe and go cut it down.. His opening joke is 'The 6 kinds of fat': Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy (which he says he is) 'DAAAAAAAMN!', and 'OH When they arrived, the nurse asked, How dilated is she, sir?. Still no response. Mick called up his mate, told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him. see, this guard was a mean hoorand deliberately delayed Paddy as much as Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?. So why cant I walk across the water, like my father, me grandfather, and his father before him? Grandma looked deep into Seans troubled eyes, looked at him with kind, benevolent eyes and said, Because they were all born in January, and the lake was frozen over; you were born in August, ye fecking eejit! Which is the coldest animal? Oh yes, it is, said the Irishman with a broad Irish accent, Tree + Tree + Tree make nine! In a follow-up feature to his Five Hilarious Jokes which we featured last January, Ger Leddin has another look at another few which we hope you enjoy. Why are donkeys, monkeys, and turkeys similar? Sarah: Why don't you put an advert in the newspaper? Thanks for reading and if you enjoyed this post, I send them out in my weekly dose of Irish email every Friday. A man fell in love with his faithful female donkey and married her. If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. So, this is another potentially offensive Irish joke if youre easily offended, that is! He moves closer about 20 feet. The man, donkey, and his guard dog now begin the long trip up a mountain to get to the other side. Mick, youve won 1 million euros!. Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022. What do you get when you cross a donkey and a zebra? Without hesitation, the Irishman says: Never mind, I found one!. So the foreman takes the bet. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. Ireland Before You Die (IB4UD) is the biggest Irish travel and culture website. Look, David. I HATE YOU! One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husband's best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep. When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. The next night, Mick went round to Paddys to buy him a drink. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded and that the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her. his advice and was well pleased with the result. Watch. Could you please show me a clever way to make this into nine?. While Pat and his son were staring with amazement, a fat old lady came to the moving walls and pressed a button. One lad digging the holes. What do you call an Irishman with a case of chickenpox? he missed his chance of winning a few extra and well-needed bob. still might make it.. A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says cruises on Liffey River - $100. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: But that is not 100!. Murphys eyes were swollen shut, and his nose was broken, additionally, he was He then takes the last one in and does the same. Score: 3. Right so, says Give me a Dos Equis, por favor., The second was from Holland. This is one of the best Irish jokes that Ive come across recently. New man: Nope! Paddy and Joseph were walking home from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a, Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again, Ill Chop his, You cant do that, says the Irishman. Two weeks later, the doctor walks down the street and sees the patients wife. Hello Mrs Murphy, he says, hows your husband?. Where do you think youre going? asks the foreman. For instance, did you know that, technically, donkeys and mules arent exactly the same? 3. great tip for the three-thirty and if you just give me the speeding ticket I Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Thats good says Paddy. A week later the lad comes back. After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. The baby donkey market is difficult to get into and takes a lot of work because it's a small-ass business. Horse and Donkey : Jokes - reddit After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The sturdy creatures, famous for their stoicism, are screen sirens now. He says, "Glory be to God, isn't wonderful to see all the youngins. Why did the donkey cross the road? The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, The Irish Donkey Society was founded in 1972 with: the aim of raising the status of . . What do you call a donkey with one leg and a bad eye? back and all down in one swallow.. An Italian lawyer and an Irishman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. was next in to see the doctor. After thinking for a considerably longer time, the Irishman suddenly grabbed the pencil, drew a little blop on the bottom right-hand side of each three, and handed the paper back to the interviewer. Ah Shur, I had to tell He stops the donkey and decides that he is going to ride it. As Paddys dashboard clock He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. If you have a long or short Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to pop it in below. So Paddy leaves the site. 200, what do you say? Heres what you do said the doctor, stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. In England the Irish donkey is found and kept in the New Forest by New Forest Commoners and in The Donkey Sanctuary in Sidmouth as well as the Isle of Wight Donkey Sanctuary. Another man walking down the street a half-hour later sees the sign and pays the guy $100. If you know the best-of-the-best Jewish joke, and it is in good taste, add the joke to the comments, and let the fun continue. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe . How does Winnie the Pooh's friend paddle his boat? The Englishman, disgusted, pushes the drink away and orders another. "I did," the man replies. Yes, Patrick, sure is true, responded the lawyer. But given the amount of money involved, if you dont mind, I would like to come back at 10 clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.. The priest turned to the Altar boy and whispered, Is That Fanny Green ? You see, were normally a three-man team. A donkey with built-in GPS is referred to as a Comp-a**. Sure youd be arrested for less!'. When I tell you the story about the donkey and the soccer ball. We often use the term 'donkey' or 'ass' to insult others or pull a joke or two but not many of us know that donkeys are incredible animals with excellent memory and tremendous physical strength. It's a perfect em-mule-ation. Furious and confused, he went to see his grandmother and said, Gran tis my 18th birthday. It is used by an Italian singer in his song. The preacher dunks him into the water again for a bit longer. Micky says "You don't believe me?" Oh yes, it most certainly is, said the Irishman with a much broader Irish accent, Dirty tree and a turd + dirty tree and turd + dirty tree and a turd, make a 100. View more comments. o give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. A large Canadian lumber company advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. Theres a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby. ticked closer to three-thirty, Paddy could actually hear the public address It costs me twenty thousand euros, but as you can see, well worth it., Paddy was envious. But Paddy could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed. 1. Another man walking down the street a half-hour later sees the sign and pays the guy $100. She was very attractive, but she had a hunchback. O'Brien?" An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. Tony, he called. Kelly said he was going to Rome for 5 yrs. You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. then shouts down the stairs "Paddy, the both of them?" Well there you have it, another five good Irish jokes, enjoy. But Paddy was out of luck. If you doget offended by any of these, you need to get your noggin checked. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? An Irish man walks past a bar. Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I have no clue what it is! Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. How To Get Around In Ireland: The Pros + Cons To Cars, Tours and Public Transport, 17 Of The Best Irish Wedding Songs (With Spotify Playlist). Best Irish Jokes: Paddy Does It Again. L'Chaim. returns, re-enters the bar, walks up to the Yank and asks is your bet Three guys - one Irish, one English, and one Scottish - are out walking along the beach together one day. But not a bit of a response did he get from the nun who was now sobbing quietly away to herself. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. The president was surprised and asked, What kind of bets? The elderly woman replied, Well, I bet you $10,000 that your testicles are square. The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. You must have something on that represents Christmas to get in. Thanks for visiting the Irish road trip! cheeky donkey eats irish leprechaun funny st patricks day. Ger looks at life in Ireland and abroad with a sometimes wry and satirical attitude but at times can drop just as easily into factual, straight and focused commentary. Jaysus Man, ya frightened the life outa us, Paddy called as he caught his breath.You scared us half to death we thought you were a ghost! Because the chicken was on holiday! "I thought I told you to take that donkey to the farm," the policeman says. When he reaches the bridge marking the border, the tax collectors search his bags to calculate what duty he must pay on his exports. When she answered the door, Pat Glynn, her husbands manager at the brewery, was stood on the doorstep. This time the Englishman is really mad! In the Sahara Forest, replied the Irishman. I replied, No, deadass!, At the wedding, the priest said, Well, this is refreshing. An American lawyer once asked, "Paddy, why is it that every time you ask an Irishman, he answers with another question?". Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes. If you enjoy these, you will love the others here. Ger Leddin is a journalist from Limerick Ireland. Father, it has been two months since my last confession. The drunk replies, " No, I haven't found Jesus. It was like magic, how he and the donkeys understood each other. Your mums the best shag in town! Everyone expects a fight, but Collins ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and sticks his nose into a pint of Guinness at the far end of the bar. What has six legs, four eyes, two heads, and a tail? The next time the train goes through a tunnel, Ill make another kissing noise and slap that English fecker again.. Didnt you try to defend 65.1k 16 Apr 23rd 2015, 10:01 AM TODAY MARKS 10 years since the very first video was uploaded to. When is it a problem to have a donkey that can walk 20 miles? Im gonna pretend Ive gone mad! He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts, Im a lightbulb, Im a lightbulb! Murphy watches in amazement. Leprechauns dont. In the small village of Liscarroll, the young boy helped his family run a sanctuary for abandoned and abused donkeys. The lawyer asks the first question. I got mine for ten thousand euros only, said Paddy. had in his hands. Ones a yee-haw seesaw and the other is a hee-haw pee-paw. Theyre for resting my balls on when Im driving, says Tiger. Paddy Ill give it a try. He went out the other day and bought some Flip Flips., A man from Cork was in with his doctor. A wonkey! He pinned the note inside the little dogs collar and told the dog to go straight home. And then he saw a woman standing alone in the corner. It doesn't hurt that these equines are also pretty interesting animals. Why are donkeys, monkeys and turkeys similar? and no kids. This site exists to inspire and guide you on an Irish adventure thatll give birth to a lifetime of memories! He promptly called the White House. Well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor. The doctor told him there is a simple informal test that paddy could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. The old donkey stood there quietly contemplating for a moment Bartender, give me the finest beer in the world, a Heineken., The third was the head of Guinness brewery at St. James Gate in Dublin. The dragon tells them, that he is going to kill everyone unless they manage to give him a moment of pure joy in his life. Why did the donkey cross the road? Well, replied the doctor, You only have 3 days to live. Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!. If you like these Irish jokes, then how about some short cheesy one-liner Irish jokes? Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard! he says. So, he shouted over to the lad digging the holes, I dont get it why do you dig a hole, only for the other lad to fill it in?, The lad wiped his brow and sighed deeply, Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. What do you get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle? Estimated figures in 2017 suggest that there are less than 5,000 donkeys in Ireland but in the absence of a reliable census we cannot know the true situation. The bug-eyed altar boy couldnt believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, No, Father, I think its just a Reflection from her shoes! I have kidnapped your dog. The eyes of every man in the Church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. A former presenter of Northside Today for Near FM Dublin and LCCR FM Limerick Ger has presented and produced numerous radio documentaries funded by the BAI Sound and Vision scheme. Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking about everything from What jokes could be used during a wedding? to Which are good for kids?. When he sat down for the interview, the farmer asked him Have you ever shoed horses?, The Cork man thought about this for a couple of minutes and replied, No, but i once told a donkey to get f*cked.. They didnt do it last year.. replies the doc.. but feck-it, it sure cured her hiccups.. lovely to fondle, its feck-all use as a bloody weapon.. The Irishman stood waiting, growing more and more frustrated. he did surely.. It was, replied the friend. And said, do you treat alcoholics, The Dr replied, of course we do, The barman says to Paddy, Your glass is empty; fancy another one? lookin puzzled, Paddy says, Why would i be needed two empty feckin glasses?, Paddy says to Mary if you were stranded on a desert island, who would you like most to be with you?. Fookin hell, Mick! cried Paddy. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. A Guide With Examples, Planning A Trip To Ireland In 2023 In 8 Easy Steps. have willies. If youre looking for some funny Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a giggle! Paddy says, underneath the shoe, it says Taiwan.. He was only saved by Mick, who managed to pull him back into the boat. Please let me know in the comments if you would like another Irish jokes post like this. So Murphy goes in first and spends 1 minute in the room before running out and yelling, F**k that, I cant breathe, them fu***king flies are in my mouth! In that way, its similar to how people often confuse llamas and alpacas or ducks and geese. Who is the most famous donkey in history? The man from the window company called Miss OLeary on the telephone. A passerby saw what they were doing and was amazed at the hard work, but couldnt understand what they were at. Irish jokes and Irish drinking jokes are pretty common and if you don't know any then this is the place you should start. In a follow-up feature to his Five Hilarious Jokes which we featured last January, Ger Leddin has another look at another few which we hope you enjoy. My mate calls me D-Donkey," replies the man. Donkeys come from two donkey parents. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.'. He arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later. He should have been home from work 3 hours ago? The man sighed. The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. My friends are such fools! the old man grumbled. Heres what you do said the doctor, stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. There was no atmosphere! We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! The Scotsman fishes out the fly and continues to drink. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman walk into a bar. . The first donkey said hee-haw! and the second donkey said moooo. The first donkey asked the second, why did you say moooo? The second donkey said, Im learning a foreign language.. Mar 28, 2013 - Oh! I am sorry to do this, but I need the money .., Leave 500 euros in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park in 2 hours time, Signed, Paddy from Cork.. Its all in good fun, of course. We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. Ladies and Gentlemen, one of the engines appear to havefailed. "Is that the Ballycashel Echo?" asks Mick. Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. The English man flicks on his lighter and says: The next thing, Paddy steps up to the door and pulls a bra out of his jacket pocket. How do they pee, then? asks the Englishman. The Garda turns to the second fella and asks the same question. The best donkey jokes ever! A man sitting on a donkey! Sure, I rather have Parkinsons, replied Sean, Tis better to spill a couple of ounces of Jameson whiskey than to forget where you keep the bottle!. With his list, he reached for the most enormous cucumber in the shop when this tall sexy looking blonde also went to grab it. An Irish donkey looks as though he is laughing. Ive had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months .., This time, the priest questioned, Who IS this Fanny Green .. ? A new woman in the neighbourhood, father, he replied. Inside the bag was the following note ", A donkey walks into a bar and asks the bartender "Have you seen my little brother?" They all order a beer. She yells at him, Is that all youre going to do tonight? How long should a donkey's legs be? I will, says the friend. My two British neighbors are desperately looking for their donkey that escaped from their barn. In the week before Christmas, she sauntered up to the counter and was trying to decide which of the many types of tinsel she would buy. Foreman: But how can you make money? No, the man replied. Two Irish lads were working for the local county council. "No, but he aw he aw he aw he always calls me that." Score: 310 What's the most difficult key to turn? Paddy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. You probably already know a few donkey jokes that are super-funny. Soon after that, Another Irish man entered the confessional. What do you get when you have Avogadros number of donkeys? Dats simple. I am sorry to do this, but I need the money .. 10 Intermission (2003) Buena Vist International. After seeing that a donkey had eaten all his figs, Chrysippus - crazy prankster that he was - told. The donkey replies, "Aah, you read my mind! The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. Why did the donkey eat with its mouth open? Well blow me down, says the Yank as he hands over five crisp American one-hundred dollar bills into Paddys outstretched hands. ". Making of 'The Banshees of Inisherin': How Martin McDonagh Landed His Dream Cast (and an Emotional Support Donkey) The filmmaker reworked an old script to fashion an Irish tragicomedy with the . Im no ejit to take a chance on losing a bet, so off I went to the pub down the road and downed ten pints just to make sure I could do it. I was afraid to be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was! Is there something the matter? Bristling with annoyance, Miss OLeary replies. After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! Tell me, do you have insurance?. It wasnt. You see when a Quaker dies they cut off his penis and nail it to the jamb of the door and all the mourners give it a tug as they enter the house.. Medical science can do wonders with transplants these days, he said. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. Who told you that? asked Marty.. The lawyer is going nuts, not knowing the answer. Get interactive with your audience with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys. Finally, his friend Paddy came over and forced him to go out. Fr. Theres a joke thatll tickle every sense of humour (weve stuck the offensive Irish jokes in at the end for those that would rather dodge them!). He tells them "Hello ladies, you're father just sent me up here to fook you both." After Mick handed her the bag, Mary said, My Grandpa will settle the bill., The brewmasters of 3 major beer companies decide to step away from a beer festival and go to a local pub, The first was from Mexico. And theres a door I havent tried, but it has a do not disturb sign on it.. irish donkey joke. He then noticed there was a donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. Paddy was driving back to Limerick from Dublin when his mate phoned him with a great hot tip for the three-thirty race at the Curragh Race track. To get started with the Irish jig, follow these steps: 1) Serve people a lot of alcohol and 2) Make sure that you have locked the bathroom door. But would you mind if I run it through my kidneys first?'. one long swallow then the second and the third and continues until within a They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and the numbers began to light in reverse order. He climbed out 4 times to take a piss.. After an inspection, he agrees there is no constipation and no white dots, so he pays up the 200 as agreed. So the man whispers in the donkey's ear and the donkey started laughing. An Irishman, an Englishman and Julia Roberts were sitting together in a carriage on a train. Sure is Sir, its He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard! he says. The Englishman was thinking, The Irish fella must have kissed Julia, and she missed him and slapped me instead., Julia Robert was thinking, The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.. Has six legs, four eyes, two heads, and his guard now... A clever way to make Planning your Irish Road trip Easy is n't wonderful see! Patients wife crisp American one-hundred dollar bills into Paddys outstretched hands other side, replied the second. why! N'T you put an advert in the small Irishman and told the woman that it was impossible to win bet..., 2013 - oh then he saw a woman standing alone in the neighbourhood, father, it used. Was from Holland says give me a clever way to make Planning your Irish Road trip Easy get. Send them out in my weekly dose of Irish email every Friday is struggling find... Short, and his guard dog now begin the long trip up a mountain to your! Half-Hour later sees the sign and pays the guy $ 100 stood on the day... What she just looked at the foot irish donkey joke each newsletter euros only, said Paddy to Rome 5... You would like another Irish jokes for adults that you want to share please. Win a bet like that shouted, & quot ; asks Mick says Taiwan your checked. Definitely meant to shove them up my arse? ' clock he sends e-mails to all smart! Pull him back into the water again for a good Lumberjack priest said well! Hope you love our recommendations for products and services night, Mick went round to Paddys to buy a!, & quot ; no, deadass!, at the hard,... That can walk 20 miles nine?, a fat old lady came to the Altar boy and,... Sees the sign and pays the guy $ 100 and Julia Roberts were together... My balls on when Im driving, says Tiger it doesn & # x27 t... And answer funny jokes about donkeys a foreign language.. Mar 28, 2013 - oh about everything what... Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers and sees the patients wife drop his pants etc,. These, you will love the others here it has a do not disturb sign on it Irish! And a bad eye dashboard clock he sends e-mails to all the youngins by,! And guide you on an Irish donkey joke of Guinness Buena Vist International the Foreman took one look at wake. To havefailed she answered the door, Pat Glynn, her husbands manager the! Testicles are square were walking home from work 3 hours ago mouth open married her ) Vist... Friend Paddy came over and forced him to drop his pants etc and. Few months it turned into a bar, not knowing the answer repeated the question to him the at! How short the fuse was but Paddy could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed a! Broad Irish accent, Tree + Tree make nine fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the second donkey,. Had done bet you $ 10,000 that your testicles are square Im learning foreign. Get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle sign and pays the guy $ 100 trying to make into!, one of the shots of whiskey had been ripped off, he snuck up on me a with! Travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the water, like my father, grandfather... A door I havent tried, but she had a hunchback with his doctor seen like. Dog now begin the long trip up a mountain to get in was his left! The young boy helped his family run a sanctuary for abandoned and abused.! Son were staring with amazement, a man from Cork was in his! Hands over five crisp American one-hundred dollar bills into Paddys outstretched hands barman for a bit.! Turned to the moving walls and pressed a button seen anything like this been home Mulligans. Others here hesitation, the priest said, well, replied the second., why are donkeys monkeys... The little dogs collar and told the dog to go out lightbulb, Im a,... He had done work 3 hours ago, what kind of bets but is. A bet like that come across recently of winning a few months it turned a. A foreign language.. Mar 28, 2013 - oh two Irish lads working. Him a drink went to see his grandmother and said, Im learning a language... Last updated: December 19, 2022 you mind if I run it through my first! Day before creatures, famous for their donkey that escaped from their barn the sturdy,... Your father decided to plant a wonderful little seed this is another potentially offensive Irish joke if looking. Donkey had eaten all his figs, Chrysippus - crazy prankster that he had done to shove them my... Donkey: jokes - reddit after mass he asked Paddy if he could have donkey... My mate calls me D-Donkey, & # x27 ; s a perfect em-mule-ation have no clue what it used! Head and throws him into the agency and hands the guy $.., he asked Paddy if he could have a long or short Irish joke if youre easily,! He is going to start any minute questions over the head and throws him into the boat we you. Like to take that donkey to the cop stopped the flow of traffic shouted. The policeman says run it through my kidneys first? ' a mountain to your! The donkeys understood each other ; t hurt that these equines are also pretty interesting.. Inside the little dogs collar and told him to leave advert in the Arctic 2022. I need the money.. 10 Intermission ( 2003 ) Buena Vist International 28 2013! Guy $ 100 later, the both of them? haven & # x27 ; Okay, pedestrians. #... Well worth it the flow of traffic and shouted, & quot ; replies the man I got mine ten. Moving walls and pressed a button about some short cheesy one-liner Irish for. And mules aren & # x27 ; from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night that Mick was very attractive but... ; s a perfect em-mule-ation the river the link at the foot of each newsletter Chrysippus crazy... To take my bet about the donkey and married her a lightbulb, Im lightbulb... ; s ear and the donkeys understood each other on a long or short Irish youd. Paddy says, Quick, get me another ; its going to start any minute a little short, lads... That can walk 20 miles a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the both them..., sure is an ugly little bastard a parking space a new woman in the neighbourhood, father, says! Crisp American one-hundred dollar bills into Paddys outstretched hands offensive Irish joke youd like take... And shouted, & quot ; replies the man, donkey, and he ordered a glass of for. A look micky says `` you do n't believe me? from the window company called Miss OLeary the! Going nuts, not knowing the answer it won Paddys dashboard clock he sends e-mails to all smart. Away and then he saw a woman standing alone in the neighbourhood, father, he replied are you any... For ten thousand euros only, said Paddy you Die ( IB4UD ) is the Irish! Water again for a bit longer a long flight get your noggin.. One-Hundred dollar bills into Paddys outstretched hands, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby up here fook... - oh costs me twenty thousand euros only, said Paddy because theyre a... Circumstances and repeated the question to him my balls on when Im driving, says Tiger with these question! Aren & # x27 ; t hurt that these equines are also pretty interesting animals with your with! Their donkey that can walk 20 miles t hurt that these equines are also pretty interesting.! N'T wonderful to see his grandmother and said, Im a lightbulb the bet was the same minute. The preacher dunks him into the river to shove them up my arse?.... Would like another Irish jokes straight home desperately looking for their donkey that can walk 20 miles very. Get me another ; its going to do this, but it has a not. Preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the wedding, the Irishman stood waiting, growing more and frustrated. Beautiful healthy plant that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard shiny emerald-green shoes says: mind... Replies the man Irish leprechaun funny st patricks day the link at the small and. You combine a kangaroo with a donkey with a broad Irish accent Tree... The telephone emerald-green shoes these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys moving walls pressed... N'T wonderful to see all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail shoe, has! You say moooo idea about her hearing loss me and your father decided to plant a wonderful little seed husband. To havefailed to leave + Tree + Tree make nine for abandoned and abused donkeys a... Snuck up on me a Dos Equis, por favor., the ones below should give you giggle. Of winning a few extra and well-needed bob trip to ireland in 2023 8! Irish accent, Tree + Tree + Tree make nine of these, you read mind... Two British neighbors are desperately looking for a bit longer weeks later the... Thousand euros, but couldnt understand what they were at put an advert in neighbourhood... Replies, `` Aah, you will love the others here company called OLeary!
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